I think im going to throw up on grandma
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your cock deserves a montage
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
