cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
True strength comes from lack of pants
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
