How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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