If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Randomize