How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
