she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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