my mouth tastes like poor choices
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to make out with him forever
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
