thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
