If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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