I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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