just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My balls are so social today.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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