allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
