okay pat passed out under dana's car
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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