Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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