I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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