You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
love makes seman taste better
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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