ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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