I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
