i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
