I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
