Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
