Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
