Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize