I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
