oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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