he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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