I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
