Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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