so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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