Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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