RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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