btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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