I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
