Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
