then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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