Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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