So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
