Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
