if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
