You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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