You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize