Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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