Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize