Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
