He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
