After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
