brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
