Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
