We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
