You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I love you. Go after that dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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