Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
