Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
