Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
