I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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