I will die if light touches me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
