And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
