I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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