his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
